Week 9 Pickups
Bye bye LJ
Ryan Moats – Hou: Supposedly the Texans are going to go with the dreaded and fairly unprecendented (outside of Denver) three RB rotation. If this trend catches on we will have to disband fantasy football and go back to watching Browns games on their own merit. Let’s hope this fails.
Jamaal Charles – KC: LJ is gone this week and has most likely played his last down for the Chefs. The only other RB’s on the roster are Dantrell Savage and Kolby Smith, who has been injured so long the last time he played, I wore 36 waist pants. The Chefs are bad but this should be Charles show from here.
Vince Young – Tenn: I’m not buying it either. Give the league two weeks to remember how to stop him from scrambling and get ready for stories about how Jake Locker or Sam Bradford would look in Nashville. Only if you are desperate.
Mike Wallace or Malcom Floyd – These guys are essentially the same. They are two decent but unremarkable receivers who will contribute one week and disappear the next. Both of these guys have a firm grasp on their playing time and are serviceable fill-ins.
Eliminator Picks:
Let’s be honest, this has been pretty damn easy to date. If you were able to dodge the Packer/Bengal landmine in Week 2 you should be on cruise control. If your strategy isn’t to pick against the Browns, Lions, Bucs, Rams, Chiefs, Redskins or Raiders on the road then you just aren’t paying attention. These teams are terrible and are completely incapable of beating a real NFL team away from home. There are 4 road wins among this group of trainwrecks. The only road win that didn’t come from beating one another was Cleveland’s stirring 6-3 win at Buffalo in Week 5. The scheduling Gods are throwing you a bit of a curveball this week by giving the Raiders, Browns, and Rams the week off. Don’t worry the Skins are still on the road.
Smart pick:
Atlanta: This seems too easy and that scares me. Washington did have a bye week giving their offensive coordinator/bingo caller a little time to get acclimated. Clinton Portis isn’t on the injury report for the first time since, well ever? You still have to like the Falcons at home. They are 3-0 at home, the Skins are 0-3 on the road. The Falcons can play a little and aren’t a colossal mess, the Skins are a debacle.
Obvious pick:
New Orleans: Jake Delhomme is a wretched quarterback. Seriously he sucks. How will he hold up in a road game shootout against Drew Brees and an opportunistic Saints D? I don’t even feel the need to answer that question. The only compelling reasons not to use the Saints have to do with their schedule and not anything the Panthers can do. The Saints play the Rams and Bucs the next two weeks. That’s like an Eliminator bye week.
Balls of Steel pick:
Jacksonville: They are playing a bad Chiefs team, but a well-rested bad Chiefs team coming off the bye. The Chefs may have had a “coming together as a team moment” after lancing the boil that is Larry Johnson. The Jags just aren’t very good either. This is not a pick for the faint of heart.
Cubs Free Agent Prize!:
The Cubs just landed their big free-agent prize of the offseason. They signed the Rangers hitting coach!! Cub fans have been told to rejoice over this development. Why you ask? He was the hitting coach for slugging superstars such as Sammy Sosa, Jeff Bagwell, A-Rod, Juan Gonzalez, and Ivan Rodriguez! Those five guys no doubt relied on hitting techniques and hours in the cage to reach the pinnacle of their profession. Texas also played in a park where the ball travels only slightly worse than if they played on the surface of the moon. That’s right; his best players juiced and played half their games in a park where I could probably hit a ball to the warning track.
What would the Cubs pay a man that clearly has some inflated credentials? Why not shatter the all-time hitting coach pay day with a 3 year $2.4M deal (let me reiterate, THAT’S FOR A HITTING COACH!!!!!!!). I love it!
In other news, Josh Vitters, the Cubs number 1 pick and latest great hope, went 3-5 in his first fall league game. On the three AB’s he got his three hits he saw a grand total of four pitches. He also made a throwing error and had a baserunning gaffe. Does this sound familiar to Cub fans? He’s hitting low minors pitching but has a long swing, poor plate discipline and is bereft of baseball sense. Want to bet that he won’t have a TRUE defensive position by the time he’s in Double-A? (I know I’m basing this on one game, but Cub fans aren’t especially logical and I’m not either.)
Only the Cubs wouldn’t realize that these two stories are indirectly related. When you scout and develop talent, high priced hitting coaches aren’t going to be needed and I won’t have to listen to sports radio talking about how it’s great that we got the hitting coach of the Needlebutt All-Stars. If we want progress, perhaps we should have gotten the team trainer.
(Note: I have not mentioned the fact that he was Uncle Miltie’s hitting coach and this may be a concession that they cannot move him in a sensible deal and are hoping that they can rehab him by signing his hitting coach that he loved in Texas. I haven’t mentioned it b/c that makes me want to hurt myself.)
My next rant will come the day we wildly overpay Chone Figgins to the tune of a 5yr-$40M contract. I expect that the first week of December. I’m kind of glad he has sucked in the playoffs or that drum beat would be deafening right now. I look forward to watching his one measureable plus attribute, speed, decline as he ages in a Cub uniform.
Thankfully there are a lot of days until Pitchers and Catchers report. I’m going to need them all.
