Things I’m Not Thankful For
Sign that should be hanging at all entrances to Ford Field
This Thanksgiving season I think it’s time to declare some of the things I’m not particularly thankful for: Oakland, Detroit, and Denver quarterbacks. For the first two, I’m not just talking about the city themselves, but also the NFL teams associated with them. The Onion had it right when they said Detroit should just be sold for scrap. And in Denver do you think it really matters which bad QB is behind center tossing bad passes to Brandon Marshall?
So in preparation for Thanksgiving day I’m putting in some bets to make these games tolerable. That of course combined with the Ward tradition of drinking “duck farts” until we’re all legally blind. That should make any game watchable. A duck fart is 1 part Baileys, 1 part Kahlua, and 1 part Canadian whiskey and a handful of them will make any gathering with the in-laws into a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat.
Green Bay / DETROIT OVER 47.5 +100Â (2 units)
Both of these defenses have been leaking like a sieve. I’m a little worried if Stafford misses the game, but confident that Culpepper can get the Lions to get close to 20 points against the banged up Packers.
This should be the Thanksgiving day game where we see some awful defensive play.
Oakland +13.5 over DALLAS +102Â (3 units)
The Cowboys are not good. No matter how many times the idiots in my television tell me that they are one of the most talented teams in the NFL, I don’t believe it. The Raiders defense has a talent for making games ugly. They don’t win, but I think they can play it close.
This should be the Thanksgiving day game where we see some awful all around play. Any game including Oakland will always get that honor.
DENVER +7 over New York Giants -106Â (2 units)
Kyle Orton is back! Broncos fans rejoice the return of their savior! Oh wait, it’s only idiot meatball Bears fans that treat Orton like he’s a good NFL quarterback. The Giants got taken to overtime by the Turner-less Falcons last week. Denver’s defense is better than the Falcons, so I think they can keep this close and snap the losing streak.
This should be the Thanksgiving day game where I don’t get to see them play, since I don’t get NFL Network.
