Hey Artest: I Also Drank During Your Bulls Games
I'll quit choking you if you tell me where you hid my bottle.
Ron Artest in an interview with Sporting News magazine admitted this week that he “… used to drink Henessey… at halftime” during his tenure in Chicago. Well I’ve got another headline for you – I was drinking during those games too. Only my poison of choice at that time would have been Milwaukee’s Best Light or Jim Beam with Coke.
You would have to be drunk to endure watching that young talented mess of a team meander towards 15 wins in the 2000 season under Tim Floyd. Brand, Artest, Mercer, Crawford, and Fizer all underachieving and under the age of 25. Those teams were of special interest to anybody at my alma mater Iowa State because that Bulls team consisted of our former coach and two of our school’s all time great players in Fizer and Hoiberg. Needless to say, it might have been a little too much Cyclones for the professional level. Heavy drinking was required.
So I understand your dilemma Artest. On the one hand – you have a front row seat to this debacle of a team that would lead Carrie Nation towards the bottle. On the other hand – you are one of the players putting out that bad product. Mix that up in the cocktail shaker of Ron Artest’s nutty logic and you get chugging a bottle of Henessey during half time.
Chad is happy to point out the only thing that he says CAN cover him.
There are few people in the history of sports that are legitimately crazy. Dennis Rodman tried to convince of his lack of sanity with crazy hair colors and wearing a dress in public, but he was just a desperate publicity whore. Chad Johnson went through the process to legally change his name to an incorrect Spanish language version of his jersey number and goes out early morning shopping on Black Friday in a Snuggie, but I’m pretty sure he’s just funny and likes fucking with people. Maybe Ty Cobb could make the list for fighting with a black elevator operator he called “uppity” then pulling a knife and stabbing the night watchman (also black) when he tried to intervene. But he’s maybe just racist and possibly evil.
Ron Artest may stand alone. The guy once applied for a job at Circuit City in an effort to get the employee discount. He was famously suspended for a season for rushing into the crowd to beat up some Pistons fans. The budding rapper has taken weeks off from the game to promote his new album. He’s shown up to practice in a bathrobe. Not only has he been arrested on domestic abuse charges but also on abuse to his dogs. Drugs and alcohol have obviously and admittedly played a very large role in his life, but I don’t think that’s an adequate excuse for the body of his work.
He has definitely earned the nickname “Crazy Pills”. At least now this crazy bastard is standing next to Kobe and has a good chance to include drinking champagne on the hardwood to his resume.
