NFL Survivor Pool Picks – Week 15
For those of you trolling the wasteland of Thursday television where all your favorite shows have been pre-empted for lame Holiday specials, I have one simple question. Who is ruining your Thursday evening more? Matt Millen, Gilly or Maurice Jones-Drew?
I hope Gilly dies in a fire. That sketch might be funny.
Spending the last two hours in this fresh hell have led me to the following conclusions. Millen sucks but he is only part of an amateur production that is NFL Network football. It’s not like we haven’t heard bad announcers before. Jones-Drew is trying to bounce me out of the fantasy playoffs single-handedly. How can a guy this small be this hard to tackle?
As annoying as bad announcing and a bad fantasy beat can be, neither of these is close. I would trade my fantasy winnings for the next 10 years before ever watching this Gilly thing again. I don’t understand this at all. Is she retarded? Is she a sociopath? What is the gag here? I can’t believe I watched this for 2 hours waiting out the “Dick and the Box” and “Schweddy Balls” sketches. Websites trashing SNL are probably second only to porn in overall volume on the internet. I get it now. It’s Gilly’s fault.
Lock of the Week:
Denver over Oakland: Survivor poolers looking for a life raft have found their prayers answered. Charlie Frye is here to save you. Frye will be making his first start since 2007 for a crappy Raider team on the road in Denver in December. Christmas comes early.
Strong Plays:
Arizona over Detroit: This has all the makings of a bounce back game for the Cardinals. The Lions are getting worse and worse each week. Flanders, I mean Warner, bounces back to a win even it Larry Fitz doesn’t play. Let’s pray he does though, right fantasy owners?
Houston over St. Louis: Gary Kubiak and the Texans are on a desperation run for the playoffs and a push to save Gary Kubiak from adding to the 10% unemployment rate we have going. They aren’t going to make the playoffs or save their coach’s job, but they will beat the hell out of the Rams this week. Dream fantasy matchup for Schaub/Johnson owners!
Seattle over Tampa Bay: A late season battle of two coaches who are feeling a bit of heat in their first year. Jim Mora tried to motivate his team this week by calling them “soft”, while Raheem Morris tried to bring some stability to the team by not firing a coach this week. The Bucs are a sinking ship ripe to be plundered (sorry for ye pirate reference). No way the Seahawks lose this game at home, no matter how soft they may be.
Baltimore over Chicago: Ray Rice, prepare for blast off. Seriously, he may run a full mile in this game. The offseason can’t get here fast enough for this Bears squad.
Caution:
Minnesota over Carolina: Carolina is in full save the coach mode as are the Texans. This feels like a trap game for the Vikings on the road. I’m sure you have used the Vikings by now and if you haven’t you are an idiot.
Pillow Fight of the Week:
Kansas City vs. Cleveland: If you think Jay Cutler has been the worst QB trade this offseason you haven’t been paying attention to what Matt Cassel is putting together in Kansas City. Then again why would you pay attention to this team? If you have a perverse need to torture yourself here is a great opportunity. There are no winners here.
Avoid like A Very Gilly Christmas: New Orleans vs. Dallas, Buffalo vs. New England, Tennessee vs. Miami, NYJ vs. Atlanta, Philly vs. San Fran, San Diego vs. Cincy, Pitt vs. Green Bay, Washington vs. NYG
