Statleague.com

There is a decent chance this guy is driving a bus for the IPS.

In an effort to minimize the amount of residual drunkeness among the local school bus driving force, the city of Indianapolis is delaying school for two hours this coming Monday.  The schools have learned their lesson from the recent past when the district had to cancel school after so many bus drivers called in sick the day after the Super Bowl dismantling of the Bears in 2007.  With another seemingly inferior NFC opponent on the slate the schools are being proactive. 

Superintendent Dr. Eugene White cuts right to the chase. 

“A two-hour delay provides a compromise that ensures our children will arrive at school safely,” says White. 

This is one smart guy.  Who, after a particularly tough night out, hasn’t joked about still feeling drunk enough to get a DUI the next day.  That conversation usually takes place while driving to lunch around midday.  Now, imagine if your team just won the Super Bowl and it’s your job to be behind the wheel at 5:30am hauling some valuable cargo.  I would call in sick too, I mean we aren’t all airline pilots. 

In an effort to provide a balanced look at this major story the local news station scoured Indy looking for someone who doesn’t like the Colts.  They uncovered this gem. 

“Not being a football fan, I think it’s kind of ridiculous,” said Mary Jo DeMyer. “My son danced in ‘The Nutcracker’ and they wouldn’t give him an excused absence for that, and yet they’re delaying school for two hours because of a football game.”

I will help this concerned mother understand this seeming inequity in the school system’s priorities.  The district is delaying school because the Super Bowl is the biggest sporting event in the world and a high school production of “The Nutcracker” is absolutely fucking pointless.  Nothing ridiculous about it.