Jim Gray comparing the NBA Finals to the moon landing.

The Super Bowl is a big deal.  The ratings are huge, the commercials cost a small fortune, the halftime show is an overwrought spectacle.  It’s a football game that has been turned into a defining cultural event.  Given the grandiosity associated with the Super Bowl it should surprise no one that there are douchebag members of the sports media who try and add significance that transcends what is just a football game.  With the ESPN media machine working for a more than three years to convince you that the Saints have rebuilt New Orleans following Katrina, it came as a big shock that the most non-sensical word vomit came via Jim Gray at Westwood One.

(Hear the excerpt here courtesy of the Boers and Bernstein show on 670am Chicago.   Skip forward to number 5 for the Gray audio.)

“Finally something good has happened to the city of New Orleans and the State of Louisiana.  A team that’s first 20 seasons didn’t have a winning record.  It led to boos and bags over the fans heads.  The Ain’ts, they ain’t no more.

So far so good for Jim.  He has correctly pointed out that the Saints for most of my lifetime have been associated with the dregs of the NFL.  They could be conservatively described as a hapless franchise for most of their existence.  The fact that the Saints won a Super Bowl in and of itself is one hell of a story.  It’s one that should be told.

Hurricane Katrina ravaged the city, the winds so strong, the water too deep.

Something is starting to get deep around here…..

Like many of the city’s residents the team itself was homeless.  Bouncing from Baton Rouge to San Antonio, the team barely held together, but didn’t move permanently and began to rebuild.

He’s trying to build a feeling of symmetry between the residents of the city and the team.  In the respect of being displaced because of the storm, he’s right.  Beware, we are nearing the proverbial fork in the road because it won’t be long before….

Funny how a city that was ravaged by wind, is now saluting a Brees.

….we are off the tracks.  Terrific pun Jim!  The problem is that the damage caused by winds were all together minor to those caused by the storm surge that overwhelmed the levy system causing the flooding that truly devastated New Orleans.  If your are taking the stance that the flooding was the result of a massive storm surge that was driven by high winds than I apologize.  Since I’m positive that you are twisting the events for a lame turn of phrase, I apologize for nothing.

When Drew Brees arrived four seasons ago, it was beginning of the end of the suffering for both the city and the franchise.  He said he felt it was his calling, his destiny to come to the Saints at their worst time.

Are you serious?  While you can argue, convincingly, that Brees saved the Saints franchise from relocation, it’s quite another to think he ended the suffering in New Orleans.  Did the houses rebuild themselves?  Did the dead come back to life?  They didn’t?  (Surely football can resurrect the dead.  How else can you explain Pat Summerall calling the Cotton Bowl this year?)

(For Drew:  Would destiny have still called you to New Orleans had the Dolphins made you the offer you were looking for or was it just a matter of New Orleans being your only opportunity to be the starter?  Would it still have been your calling if you had gone 5-11 this season?)

Now they are calling him Breesus, the city renamed Drew Orleans.

Unleash the dramatic imagery!  Is anyone really calling him this or did you make this up because it fit your piece?  At least you stopped short of having Breesus walk across the flood water to rebuild the temple (Superdome).  Nice restraint Jim!

The Mannings were the first family of the Saints, the first family of the city of New Orleans.  Now they get the prize they so long wanted, by Archie and his boys, a Super Bowl Championship for the Saints, though it comes in a fashion they would have preferred to avoid….”

No shit.

I can’t stand hyperbolic garbage like this from sports media.  Sports are a wonderful diversion, whether you are trying to escape large scale problems like homelessness after a hurricane or the mundane desire to have a few beers with your friends.  When the games are over you go back to the reality of real life whatever that may be.  If you want to make the argument that New Orleans was in desperate need for diversion from their problems, some escapism from a daunting rebuilding process, and a means to connect with one another that doesn’t involve sad stories and hardship, then by all means they deserve it.  If you want to stretch this out to say that NFL football is rebuilding a city you are an incurable, irredeemable moron.  Rebuilding a city takes money, hard work and the collective will of the residents.

Jim Gray thinks it’s measurable in Lombardi Trophies.

I may have been drinking a little too much last night, thank you Evan Williams and Squirt, but the Colts offense was very Chicago Bears like last night.  Conservative play calling, shoddy defense, and bad wide receivers.

How does Jim Caldwell concede the first half by trying to run out the clock and give the Saints another 3 points and confidence going into the locker room?  Did you seem to notice that the guy on the opposite side lines is going for it on 4th down, onside kicking it, and coaching straight from his nut sack?

Rewind a few hours and one of the best tidbits gleamed from the 28 hours of pregame nuttiness was that Sean Payton, while drinking last January, agreed to pony up $250,000 of his personal money to bridge the contract gap and sign defensive coordinator Gregg Williams as a fresh new voice for the team.  Good decision.  This guy is getting an entry right next to Bruce Campbell in my cool book.  A very un-Bears thing to do.

The best receiver in the game, Reggie Wayne, looked average at best last night.  It’s kind of like watching one of your favorite bands of all time show up 40 years older to play the Super Bowl halftime like a wrinkled karaoke version of themselves.

If Pierre Thomas would have gotten one of those late touchdowns he might have pulled down that MVP hardware.  Bookmakers put that at +800 ish before the game, could have been a big payday for some degenerates in Vegas.

Drew Brees is now in the Hall of Fame discussion.  With those big stats the last couple years and now a first ever Super Bowl for New Orleans, he’s building a bullet proof case.

So now everything football related is going to be retarded shouts of “Who Dat?” and fake creole accents.  Ugh.

Nine days until pitchers and catchers report.

Pretty much sums it up.

Striking that Heismann pose for the top of your league trophy

Jerome Harrison RB CLE

Jamal Lewis has decided to call it a career opening the door for Jerome Harrison to take over the duties.  He has good hands and is a must add in most leagues especially if you are playing in a point per reception league.  This week isn’t a great matchup with the Steelers, but after that it’s very, very advantageous and Jerome will make a great flex start.

Chris Brown RB HOU

The Texans just made it official and put Steve Slaton on the IR with a spinal cord injury.  Chris Brown got the start last week, but didn’t do much with it.  He should get more comfortable with the Moats platoon and should get the better part of it.  If Brown is still out on the wire, smack that bitch up.

Davone Bess WR MIA

Chad Henne has decided to gain a pulse and the Dolphins offense is going with it.  He threw 52 times last week and 10 of those receptions went to Bess.  He’ll be a popular pickup this week and could be worth a flex start in the playoffs.

Jason Campbell QB WAS

For those Peyton Manning owners, you better start planning for the future.  Normally with Manning I don’t even carry a second QB after the bye week but he’s going to start getting some bench time any day soon.  Jason Campbell is a good pickup if you have nobody else out there for ya.

Bill Belichick - see also: cut off sleeves hoodie douche

Classic Sunday Night Football.  Colts vs. Patriots.  Brady vs Manning.  The comeback.  The 4th and 2 that will go down in infamy.   But all the blow hard football traditionalists in the media are getting it wrong, because Belichick made the right decision.

Trust me, that pains me to say.  I hate this cut off hoodie wearing douche as much as the next guy.  Sometimes late at night I picture him getting anally penetrated by the members of Gwar to soothe myself to sleep.  But when he’s right, he’s right.

The Patriots best chance to win that game was going for it on 4th down and 2 yards to go with 2 minutes left instead of punting.

The guys at advancednflstats.com break down the math on it. In a nutshell the league average for 4th and 2 is around 60% and if they convert then the game is over.  If they don’t convert, then the league average is 53% of the time that the other team will get a touchdown.  So that works out to a 79% win rate with going for it.  Take that against a team starting at their own 34 after a punt with 2 minutes to go and scoring a TD 30% of the time.  A punt gives the Pats a 70% win rate.

Even Keyshawn could tell you that 79 is greater than 70.  Now the only problem I have with those stats is that they were using the league averages, and it’s not fair to tie NE or Indy’s offense into any formula that includes the Chiefs.

I think NE has a better than 60% chance of converting on 4th and Peyton scores more than 30% of the time when it comes down to the 2 minute drill.  But either of those tweaks would drastically increase the positives of going for it and increase the negatives of punting.

So in the WORST case, it’s a good idea to go for it.  Realistic case scenerio, it’s an fucking GREAT idea to go for it.  But the NFL traditionalists will bemoan any play call that is out of the box, and shit on any stats that point to creative thinking.  The only upside of punting is that Belichick saves his own ass since nobody would question his bad decision to punt just like 31 other teams in the league.

And even without the math, imagine it this way.  What if good old Bill would have walked over to the Colts side line and personally asked Peyton “should I punt or go for it?”  I can’t imagine a scenario where Peyton would turn down the punt.  He’ll take the ball in his hands to decide the game every time.  Why does everybody expect the Patriots to do exactly what the Colts would want them to?  It’s idiotic.